Jay's Musing

Grandpa's hunting dog

2011-12-18T21:57:00.000-08:00

Grandpa never was much for hunting, but he loved hound dogs and beagles and always had a few around that he trained to do various chores.

He also had a reputation as an expert guide for city folks who wanted to come out to Hudsonville to do a little hunting or fishing. Didn't mater what kind of game it was, Grandpa knew most every thing there was to know about it, even though he seldom ever fired his guns. Occasionally he would fetch his cane pole and go down to do a little fishing at the lake he and the Lord built.

One of Grandpa's regular uptown customers was a man named Herman. I can't tell you his last name for fear I will be sued by his descendants.
Almost everything I read now has a disclaimer notice in it to disavow any responsibility for whatever is written since it may or may not be true and in that case consulting an attorney is advised.

Herman came riding up to Grandpa's house in his old 1937 Ford pickup one day at the beginning of dove season. Grandpa and his favorite hound, Fido were sitting on the porch passing the time in leisure they both enjoyed, Grandpa rocking in his chair and jawing on a plug of Black Maria. Every few minutes grandpa would spit a little juice to a can he had out in the yard. Every time Fido heard the splat he would open one eye to see if Grandpa got it in the can. Fido was one of those hounds you never could figure out exactly what color he was. If the sun was shining on him in a certain way he appeared to be somewhere between brown ,and black, but he was the smartest dog any of us had ever seen.

Grandpa and Fido were both good at what they did.

Herman's truck skidded to a stop and he leaped out grinning and jabbering immediately. He loved the smell of fresh country air at Grandpa's place.

"Dave, you reckon there's any doves over in your Mansion field today?"

The Mansion Field was a special place. I was never allowed to venture through the woods and to the field to see what went on there, but whatever it was was between Grandpa and God 'cause Grandpa was Almighty particular about reading the Bible every day and attending church every time he could. Whatever went on there worked 'cause Grandpa had bumper crops of anything he planted there, and hunters who went there always came back happy.

"Herman, it's a beautiful, sunny day so I 'spect there may be one or two doves in the Mansion Field." Said Grandpa.

Hearing mention of the Mansion Field, Fido opened both eyes, yawned a deep loud moan and then stood up and stretched for a long minute before Grandpa spoke.

"Fido, go check the Mansion field and see if there are enough doves there to make it worthwhile for Herman to shoot at a few, and be careful you don't scare them off if there are any there."

Grandpa had scarcely finished speaking before Fido leaped off the porch and was in a full run across the yard, heading to the Mansion Field.
The field was a good half-mile from the house, but in ten minutes Fido was sprinting back towards the house with a stick in his mouth. With a long leap he bounded up on the porch in front of Grandpa and started shaking the stick vigorously like it was an an animal he was trying to shake to death.

"Dave,what in the world is wrong with that crazy hound?" Said Herman.

" Fido says there's more doves in the field than he can shake a stick at."

©-2011-Jay Hudson

2011-09-09T19:50:00.001-07:00

I'm so much like Curious George.That's why I love that little monkey so much. I frequently stick my neck too far out; crawl too far out on a limb just waiting for someone to saw it off; ride my pony so fast towards the cliff that I can't get him to stop in time even though I'm raring back on the reins and screaming at the top of my lungs,"Whoa,you S*B! Have YOU ever done anything like that?

Missing photo

2011-09-09T18:37:00.000-07:00

Bobby Dale,Kerry,Jeffrey,and Inset;Dale Sr was a photo of the four of them in hunting outfits. It was live for a couple days,then disappeared. I'll try to figure out what happened and re-post it later.

Jay

DAMN I'M GOOD

2011-08-28T22:24:00.001-07:00

DAMN I'M GOOD

2011-08-28T22:24:00.000-07:00

Bobby Dale,Kerry,Jeffrey,and Dale Sr.

2011-08-27T21:06:00.000-07:00

Who took my Pepsi?

2011-08-08T14:56:00.000-07:00

Who took my Pepsi?

2011-07-22T22:23:00.000-07:00

Uncle John Tussles With an Angel

Uncle John was always tussling with his covetous, Cousin Walter. If John got a newer model used car, then Cousin Walter had to have one with more shine.

Uncle John and Cousin Walter fussed over everything under heaven. Two more cantankerous people had never been born in the South. Their verbal abuse got so bad folks couldn't get any peace anywhere in the entire county unless maybe in their own homes.

Everytime there was a ballgame, a wedding, a funeral, a party, an election, or any public event, John and Walter disrupted everything with their loud and ferocious swearing at each other. It got so bad that folks were moving out of Richmond County in droves.

Finally one of the elected officials who actually professed to being "a strong Christian Baptist," called the leaders of every church in the county and requested a special prayer breakfast, much like the ones that Jesse Jackson and William Clinton are allegedly so fond of.

She told these community leaders that they had to pray that something might be done to curb Uncle John and Cousin Walter's bickering. She pointed out to them that God had just blessed Georgia with rain after a public official violated the spirit of the Constitution by actually praying for rain, and it might work with the local problems.

So, a time for the prayer breakfast was set. The good folks met on Friday morning at 7:00 A.M. They commenced praying loudly, begging God for mercy so they could have peace in the area. They spent several minutes of verbally beseeching God's help in solving their problem, and then thanking him for intervening, they procceeded to have breakfast, having been spiritually assured that God would intervene.

Uncle John seldom attended church anymore, but he always turned the TV on to listen to the tv preachers while he snoozed in his recliner.

Uncle John was all laid-back in his favorite recliner on Sunday morning just about preaching time. He was snoozing comfortably while the sounds of that Mega-Church-in-Texas preacher's voice was exhorting everyone to praise God from the 12" color tv in the living room.

Suddenly Uncle John had a powerful vision of an Angelic being hovering in the air over him while he snoozed.

"John, you are without a doubt the meanest, swearingest man I have ever had to watch over. God has commanded me to come down here to set your heart free from your wicked ways. He said I may grant your hearts desires if you show you have goodness in your heart by letting Cousin Walter have two of the same things you desire," Said the Angel."

"You mean, if I ask you for a million dollars, that filthy lying scoundrel gets two million?"

"He sure will! That's my Lords command."

"And if I'm the boss of a big factory some place, he gets to be boss of two of them?" Asked Uncle John.

" Yes, as my Lord has commanded," Replied the Angel.

"And if I live with the meanest, ugliest Witch of the West, he gets two of them?"

" Yes, as God has commanded me." Said the Angel.

Uncle John frowned a little as he was pondering the Angel's answers. Suddenly his eyes sparkled and a big grin came over his face as he spoke, " Well, if you'll give me all the above and one glass eye, we got a deal."

A man needs a purse like a woman

2011-05-24T10:36:00.000-07:00

I don’t carry a purse-yet,but I need one.I no longer need my shirt pocket for Marlboros,so I have three lists of things to do,one note pad,one gel ink pen,one cannister inhaler and a bottle of Xanax.

My left pants pockets has two sets of keys.After locking the car twice with the motor and AC running I made duplicates of all my keys,except one. I have twelve keys on one ring and 13 on the other.I can’t figure out what’s missing. I also have a red coin purse with eight quarters.I assure you the quarters are not for the vending machines in the mens room. They are my emergency stash in case I’m out somewhere and need a Pepsi for resuscitation, or traveling money in case my wife throws me out one day.
The right pocket contains a yellow coin purse for any change I acquire during the day, and a larger pill bottle with the smaller nitro bottle inside.(to keep the little bottle from slipping out of my pocket unnoticed).

Wanda, if you are reading this I didn’t mean for it to be so long.I’m almost finished.

My back pocket contains my wallet with my dollar,plus my drivers license.

I’ve never had a nekkid baby doll in my pocket,like Wanda found in her purse,nor lip gloss,but if I did I would choose the color lip gloss that Monica made famous.

I guess that’s about enough.Anything else would be TMI.

I probably need a few more items.

Daytona,January 13,2011

2011-05-06T16:48:00.000-07:00

Dale Passing the torch to Bobby Dale at Daytona-January 13,2011

I'm worried about you, Kevin!

2011-04-11T13:33:00.000-07:00

Kevin Harvick

April 5
Jay Hudson
Hahahaahah! You got away with one. Dale is a classy driver after all Dale SR would have put the bumper on your left quarter panel and won the race. I suggested to Richard that he put you out to pasture since you are getting old , hahahhhaha, and give the 29 to Bobby Dale,cause he drives like Dale Sr., but Richard didn't think too much of it. He could even put the # 3 back on it and the Stands would be full and the TV ratings would sky-rocket with Bobby Dale Earnhardt in that car.It would even light a fire under Dale's ass,probably. Don't think it will happen though. Richard seems to be getting' a little slow-thinking in his old age.Well, at least Ya'll got Steve Allen engines.They are stronger than Hendricks.Steve is THE engine man in NASCAR.

Oh well, we can't all be old,good looking,and smart.
I like you anyway even if you are a whinny ass sometimes like Jeff Gordon. I guess by now that you have guessed , I am a writer of corny,dry humor.
18 minutes ago
Kevin Harvick
ok i am confused by all of this
12 minutes ago
Jay Hudson
sorry! I don't mean to confuse you.I'm just teasing you.I thought you had a funny bone! Sometimes you are almost as funny as Schrader.Your win last week. Dale Sr., would have roughed you up a little before he let you get by him.LOL.Jay
8 minutes ago
Kevin Harvick
yea i am but just a lot said there and yea i know

http://jayhudsononwheels.blogspot.com/

Picture

2011-03-08T20:48:00.000-08:00

What really goes on in Washington?

2011-02-21T11:33:00.000-08:00

Strange,but true;Willie Nelson and Billy Carter are the only two people in America to smoke marijuana with Secret Service protection,and they did it on top of The White House. Billy Carter is the only man to ever relieve himself on the tarmac at Andrews AFB while the Secret Service protected him.
Bill Clinton is the only President (as far as we know), who played with his girlfriend under the desk in the Oval Office, with Secret Service protection.
Don't you love paying your Federal taxes? Hey, there has to be a little fun in Washington 'cause a lot of serious business goes on there Ya know.

©-2011-Jay Hudson

Facebook monkey business

2011-01-16T21:56:00.000-08:00

I love it when Facebook put's Erin Moriarty and B.J. Thomas' pic and link on my wall,'cause I do have friends in a high places.I know most of you are too young to know, or remember Ham,and Able, but those two were my ancestors. I'm proud that NASA gave them an education and a free ride into space.Thjey were terrified to sit on top of that old Atlas ICBM, but it did the job. I wish they would help my relatives in the rain forests. How many of you remember that famous picture of my g-g-g grandpa, Ham, shaking hands with astronaut, Frank...what's his name? A NASA friend said Ham was a female,but g-g-g-g grandpa sure didn't know that and begat about as many offspring as Methuselah. I bet nary one of you remembers it.

Wednesday,29 December,2010

2010-12-29T17:46:00.000-08:00

I spent the day at Duke today getting examined and getting an update from my heart surgeon. I have been discouraged recently about my prospects, but he and his nurse were very encouraging. He told me not to give up because I came within two hearts recently of getting the transplant.

He and the nurse assured me that money and insurance has nothing to do with who gets the heart. They assured me that the selection is based on a computer match between tissue and antigens, and patient need. In other words,the patient closest to death gets priority if all other criteria are equal.

They assured me they maintain a fair system.

I trust them completely.

The bad news is that I may have to be on life support before getting to the top of the list.

It's all scary,but there is nothing to do except accept it and try to have some sort of quality of life.

I'm grateful for every heartbeat the Master has allowed me.

Jay

Smoking honey suckle/

2010-12-02T19:51:00.000-08:00

2 December,2010

My advice to Willie Nelson; Get a plain-looking Greyhound bus.Do not paint your name,or Honey Suckle Rose on it. Have one of those government, motor-pool looking vehicles to follow your bus and carry the weed for you.

With all the millions the IRS has stolen from you they should pay for the weed.

Aunt Clemmie gets a maid

2010-10-07T23:23:00.000-07:00

Uncle John had been feeling poorly for over a week, so HIS house-chores had piled up. The laundry room was over flowing with dirty clothes everywhere.The sink was full of dirty dishes.The fancy cherry-wood dining table, the one with the imported crystal chandelier over it was covered with dirty dishes.The oak parquet flooring in the entertaining parlor needed waxing. The carpets in the other rooms were beginning to look,and smell musky, and needed spiffing up.

Aunt Clemmie believed in living frugally, but something had to be done. No telling how long Uncle John would be feeling poorly. She was getting tired of having a dirty house. She never knew when company would come calling and she always tried to make sure that her house was clean,so she decided to place an ad in the local chain newspaper classifieds.

Monday was the slow day at the newspaper so they sold classifieds for $3.00 for fifteen words, more, or less.

Aunt Clemmie was very frugal,so she placed the ad on Saturday, to be published in the Monday paper.

WANTED: Full time housekeeper. Excellent pay with liberal benefits for the right person.

Apply in person at One Clementale Place.

Monday morning the ad was in the county paper so Clemmie expected a rush of applicants on account of the Bush-Obamacon Depression that was rampant across the country.

When the doorbell rang Monday afternoon she opened it to see an immaculately dressed middle-aged lady in a professional maid's uniform.

One look told Aunt Clemmie this was the maid to hire,but something just didn't strike her fancy so she took the lady's application and said she would look it over and then call if she was hired.

Uncle John had just brought Aunt Clemmie a cup of hot tea when the doorbell rang again.

He ambled across the living room and opened the door.

There stood a young man with a physique and a tan like a Roman god. Uncle John just stood speechless. The young man looked like a young Arnold "The Terminator" Schwarzenegger with long flowing mane like that "It's not butter" spokesman, but this Schwarzenegger clone had not had the Joan Rivers plastic facial treatment.

This fellow looked to be a real man, something Uncle john hadn't been in several years on account of his heart problems.

Oh my goodness thought Clemmie to herself as she gazed on this virile-looking young stud. Sure will be some excitement around here now. She murmured to herself.

"My God,my God," Stammered Aunt Clemmie! come on in young man and tell me all about yourself."

'Ma'am, my name is Je'sus H. Lopez. I saw your ad for a housekeeper and I'm not one to brag, but since everything I say is the truth, then it ain't bragging. I'm the best housekeeper a lady ever had since that Tanya Danza fellow that used to be on television when I was a kid. I can shop for the bacon,bring it home,and fry it up in the pan quicker than that Enjoulie woman what used to be on them TV commercials."

" Why, my goodness, Je'sus, I do believe you can.You can start to work this afternoon if you are of a mind to. The pay is great. We'll discuss that later. You just go check out the house and see what chores need tending. Take care of any you see that needs tending to. Uncle John here is my no -account husband. He will be up stairs in his office where he pretends he is a writer. If you need anything just call him.Just make yourself at home."

Uncle John promptly retired to his office upstairs while Aunt Clemmie went to her room for a long overdue nap. Uncle John's recent streak of laziness had frazzled her nerves.

Je'sus immediately set about cleaning,washing,waxing,polishing, and all manner of housework he saw that needed attention.

By 7;00 P.M. he was done with all the chores so he decided to poke around the closets for suitable clothing for a night on the town.He wasn't a wilding sort of man,but he loved his nightlife. After rummaging through several closets he finally found just the right spiffy outfit that would set the tongues a wagging at his favorite bar and dance hall.

He dressed quickly and then called a cab.

Aunt Clemmie awoke at midnight to find the house quiet as a church five minutes after Sunday preaching. Looking around the house she was amazed to find everything so clean and spotless. Why , this Je'sus was better than she had ever imagined.Could she really be so lucky to find such a virile looking stud that also did housework?

With a glow on her face and a smile as big as Texas she waltzed into the dining room where she spied a note on the table.

" My Dear Ms. Clemmie," Said the note, in the most beautiful script Aunt Clemmie had ever seen. "After doing all the chores and then finding you asleep, I felt lonesome for some companionship for the evening,so I did just like you said. I decided to dress,and then go out for an evening of dancing and maybe a little foolishness, if I might be so lucky."

Je'sus

Aunt Clemmie was not thrilled to be sitting watching the Late Show alone,but no need to fret over it just yet.

Presently the front door opened and in staggered Je'sus.

"I'm sorry Ms Clemmie. I didna mean to stay out so late but the party was going so strong I was just overcome, and I may have had a little more to drink than I intended.It won't happen again."

Aunt Clemmie was shocked into an absolute stupor by Je'sus' appearance. Her face welled up into a giant red ball that looked as if it was about to burst any moment.

"Why, why, oh my gosh!" Stammered Aunt Clemmie. "You dirty low down slut. If you ever wear my clothes again I will fire you and then shoot you stone-cold dead!

©-2010-Jay Hudson

So, you want to be a writer?

2010-09-17T13:26:00.000-07:00

The Master and and his helper, Mahmet were walking down a rocky path
seeking a place to sit and rest before entering the bustling city of
Jeruselum.
Around a bend in the path they came upon a man who was weeping
inconsolably.

The Master asked the man what was the matter.
The man replied,"Oh Master, my friends have abandoned me here and my
feet are twisted with the paralysis.
I fear I will fall if I try to walk into the city for the Great Feast
of Hollies. If thou would'st touch my brow I should be healed and would
shout with much praises to thy name.

The Master touched the pennitents brow, and straightway the man bowed,
and then
leapt with joy and shouting as he raced down the path into the Holy
City.

The Master and Mahmet continued walking and they came upon a woman who
was weeping and wailing.
"Woman, what troubles thy soul so greatly that thou doest wail in the
pathway to the city?"

"Oh Master, because I cannot see to weave the fine rugs that sell
for great prices in the city. But only could I see, I would weave many
fine rugs and lift my family from the poverty that doth spoil the soul
of
many of thy good brethren. If thou would but utter the Word, my
afflictions
would be gone and I would sing thy praises to the world."

"Woman, open thine eyes, and see that thou does not prick thy fingers
on the shuttle."

The Master and Mahmet walked a little farther and came upon a man in
great distress with weeping and the beating upon his chest.

"Man, what causeth thou to abuse thy body and soul so fervently?"

"Oh Master, I have but one desire in this world and that is to pen
great scrolls, for I have recently learned to scribble, but the great
truths do not reveal themselves to me for I am addled in the mind. If thou
would but place a drop of thy sweat upon my weary head I would see
great truths to reveal to the people of the city, and maybe even the
world."

Upon hearing this the Master fell to his knees overcome with weeping.

Copyright-2008-Jay Hudson-All rights reserved.

Earnhardt's: The next generation

2010-09-15T21:16:00.000-07:00

Earnhardt's-the next generation

Rockingham- According to a press release today from Larry Walls,sponsor of the UCAR Clash Series, Bobby Dale Earnhardt of Rockingham, grandson of the late Dale Earnhardt, Rev. Bobby Haney of Waynesville,and Jay Hudson of Rockingham will drive at Dillon Motor Speedway on Saturday,September 18 in the Walls Roofing UCAR Clash points race.
Earnhardt will drive a Richard Aliff prepared Honda.
Aliff's cars have one victory at Hickory Motor Speedway and has finished every race in the top five this season in the Walls Roofing UCAR Clash.

Thanks to Wayne Owens and Andy Delay at Highway 40 Country Radio,Larry Walls at Walls Roofing,and car owner Richard Aliff for making it possible.

Do you have a spiritual team?

2010-08-18T17:19:00.000-07:00

18 August, 2010

I didn't know anything was missing from my life but a lot of my Facebook friends are sending me invitations to join spiritual psychic groups.

If they really had ANY psychic power at all they would realize that I already possess my share of ESP.

Got a pretty good supply of spiritual truths too!

What's missing in my life is all the wealth and abundance the TV preachers promised me many years ago. I'm still waiting on it, but my ESP tells me it is not coming from any of them. If it comes at all I will surely have deserved it,and maybe even earned it.

Several of my FB friends want to "empower" me. I chuckle with disbelief every time I see one of those. Do they really believe they can empower anyone?

That's like the Federal government saying they are giving you the Bill of Rights.

The government does not give anything. It takes.

My "empowered" friends have been deluded by modern day P.T. Barnum's.

True empowerment comes when we realize we have to play the cards life deals us.

It doesn't matter what we get. What matters is how we play the game.

The magic is in believing.

Late night TV

2010-07-10T22:54:00.000-07:00

Sometime Sunday morning, 11 July,2010'

Camilla and I just suffered through one of Gary Trudeau's money-making, or was it money-finding infomercials, and then, Wanda Argersinger' s favorite infomercial marketeer, Montel, followed Trudeau with, hmmm, I don't remember what Montel was selling tonight. I'm so disgusted with him now I don't pay attention to him.

The Sylvia Brown episodes, puke, turned me against Montel.

And then, EEEGGGAAAAADS!

What the TV station did was Ghastly!

They had an infomercial with Joan Rivers pitching beauty products for legs.

I didn't need to see that!

What I want to know is "Who is her plastic surgeon?"

That guy could become a Zillonaire doing bookcovers 'cause he is without a doubt the greatest graphic artist the world has seen since Leonardo.

©-2010-Jay Hudson

http://jayhudsononw heels.blogspot. com/

The vagaries of sleep apnea.

2010-07-08T18:01:00.000-07:00

8 July, 2010

I had to have another sleep study done Tuesday night, 6 July, 2010. This was the fourth time.

I have no idea why it has taken so many times for the doctors to determine what type of breathing machine to put me on and what pressure to set it on.

I had the first test done at Duke University Medical Center last winter. That test was not good enough for my pulmonologist at First Health Moore Regional. He ordered another test which I reluctantly took.

I hate having all those wires on my head and a mask over my face, except during episodes of acute heart failure when I am thrilled that the EMS folks have it with them on the ambulance.

On my previous two tests the sleep technician named Ronnie was assigned to me. Ronnie is a genial fellow and we hit it off from the start. He is retired from the Air Force on disability due to an accident as a cargo handler on aircraft. He recovered enough to work a civilian job.

The prepping for the sleep study requires sanding the body in various places so wires can be attached with adhesive. It felt like Ronnie was using 36 grit industrial grade sandpaper on my scalp when he was prepping me. After several minutes of vigorous sanding on one particular spot I asked Ronnie,

" How do you know when you have sanded enough meat off?"

He replied with a quick wit, "When it starts bleeding I know I have sanded enough."

Amid all the pain I found enough strength to chuckle at Ronnie's wit. With every comment I made Ronnie was quick with a humorous retort. It was fun working with him, even though the sanding was painful.

I had two studies done with Ronnie as the technician, so we got to know each other a bit more.

He was disabled while off-loading cargo from a high-flying C-130 transport plane. The cargo shifted just before exiting the plane and it crushed his legs at the knees. Lucky he was attached to a safety harness to keep him from being sucked off the plane.His Air Force career ended with his disability, but he eventually recovered and went into a medical career.

Tuesday night he was prepping a patient in another room when I checked in. He heard my voice and immediately stuck a gloved arm out the door and said, "Hudson, I'm going to knock out you as soon as I finish getting blood from this patient."

I love Ronnie's good-natured banter, so I replied, "Ronnie, the office manager in the hospital has put me on the payroll since I've had to come back so many times. She said to have you go ahead and pay me one weeks pay in advance. Just make the check out to Cash."

"I'm still gonna knock you out when I finish in here," He said.

I giggled out, "Yeah, and the next time you fly, I'll push you out with the cargo too."

Ronnie was not my technician Tuesday night. Jordan was. Jordan did a great job of wiring me up to all the sensors, but he had to try a dozen breathing masks before he found one that would fit my know skinny face.

It was 2:00 A.M. before we finally settled down to work.

Jordan turned out the lights and left the room to go to his work station to observe me under infrared cameras and audio equipment.

There is a checklist of things to do to make sure every sensor is working properly.

Jordan 's voice came over the intercom and he said,"Blink your eyes ten times. Now, turn your eyes from right to left ten times. Hold your breath and move your stomach up and down ten times. Bend the toes on your left foot forward and backward ten times. Now do the same with the right foot.

Good! Everything is working. You can go to sleep now."

I fell into a light sleep. I didn't think I was sleeping at all. The white noise from the machine was not white enough to wipe out the discomfort from air under pressure being forced up my nose. After a minute my nose started to itch. No way to scratch it,so I used psychology and just blocked it out of my mind.

After thirty minutes my nose was on fire from the burning, and I now had a headache to go with it. I asked Jordan to bring me Tylenol.

He did!

I went back into what I was sure was a light snooze. Jordan came over the intercom again and said ,"Okay, Mr. Hudson.We are stopping the study now. We have some really good information for the doctor to work with."

I looked at my watch and it was 6:00 A.M. I was thrilled to end the study. I didn't think of it as a study. I was thinking "ordeal."

Jordan came in and took the mask off first, then unhooked the gazillion wires attached to me. I was so relieved to get that mess off that I made up my mind I will never have another sleep study done. I don't care what the doctors say. I've had enough sleep studies done. I know I have sleep apnea. The doctors know I have it

As Duran once said "No Mas! I've had enough too!

©-2010-Jay Hudson

Uncle John's Rough Riding Days

2010-07-04T15:50:00.000-07:00

Uncle John's Rough Riding Days

Great-g...Uncle John had been drifting all over the West after the War of Northern Aggression. He was attempting to soothe his ravaged soul after the brutally bloody fighting around The Angle at Gettysburg on July 3.
As his blood spilled out at a honey locust, the only tree left standing on Cemetery Ridge, the last words he heard that day were "My God,my God,We could have won.We could have won!"

He had eaten Texas dust for forty years as a Texas Ranger, trying to put the pieces of his life back together.
He never did. All the drinking, all the women, all the gambling, all the killing only caused the nightmares to grow in terror.
His last official Ranger work was when he rode across the Plano and trailed along with Deputy U.S. Marshall, Pat Garrett, who was tracking down Henry McCarty, who also went by the name, Henry Antrim, and William Bonney. A newspaperman had tagged him as Billy the Kid, and the name stuck.

When Garrett and the Kid finally met they both reached for their guns. Garrett was quicker on the draw.
He became an instant hero in New Mexico, until ruthless ranchers turned on him and had him bushwacked.

All the troubles had deeply affected Great g...Uncle John. He had always abhorred violence, but the War had forever changed his life. He decided to try one more time to lead the narrow way so he could make peace with his maker.
He decided to give up his drinking, his gambling, and his whoring, and seek respectable employment that was less stressful.
He had met President Theodore Roosevelt in Washington when he accompanied Pat Garrett to have his photo taken with the President.
Roosevelt admired brave lawmen who were handy with a gun.

Great ....Uncle John took the train to Washington and applied in person for one of the new park ranger jobs Roosevelt was passing out with his new parks program.

President Roosevelt liked Uncle John, but he had to ask him a few questions to make everything all proper.

" John,you have a lot of blood on you hands. How do you account for all that?" Said Teddy.

"Mr. President, it was all in self defense, but I never liked killing any man."

"I've heard that you have gambled and played poker all your life," Said the Rough Rider.

"Yes Sir, I know the difference between a straight and a flush." Replied Uncle John, as he fidgeted in his chair. This wasn't going the way he expected.

"Well, I've heard rumors that you kept unsavory women in your hotel rooms all your life, at least since the War," Said the President.

" Mr. President, I reckon that could be true, but I don't know for sure 'cause I've been drunk since the War ended, that is, until the last few weeks when I heard a Baptist preacher tell me how wicked I was for helping Pat Garrett fetch Billy the Kid. Billy had become a folk hero among lots of people. He was a charismatic ladies man. When Pat was dry-gulched I figured it was time to make things right, so's I quit my drinking right then."

"Mr. Secretary,type up the appointment for my signature. We have our newest park ranger, " Said Teddy, with a wide grin, and reaching across his desk to shake John's hand.

©-2010-Jay Hudson

Letter to my dear friend,Molly Swoboda

2010-06-25T13:16:00.000-07:00

A Country Boy Discovers "Fyne Wyne"

Dear Molly,

When I heard that resveratrol might increase my life expectancy to near one hundred and twenty years, I ran right out and bought a gallon jug of expensive "fyne red wyne",cork included.

I got home only to find out that we lost our corkscrew thirty-eight years ago. Not one to be deterred once my mind is made up about something potentially beneficial, I drove all over town before I found a store that sold corkscrews. There are so many drunks in Richmond County you would think corkscrews were carried by every store in town.

Not so!

Yuck! I couldn't drink the stuff. Don't know why, 'course,I never tasted wine before. It was the most expensive wine in the dollar store.

I guess they had seen the news article about resveratrol increasing lifespan and raised the prices on red wines.

It was two days before Christmas and a black friend who loves spirits anytime he can get them stopped by to inquire about my health since he had heard the news about me.

"Burp! 'Escuse me , Jay,burp,but I jus stopped by to see how ya doin' aftah your heart attack and all. Said my friend, as he swayed a little trying to maintain his balance and get his eyes focused on me...

Seeing an opportunity to spread some Christmas cheer,and maybe even increasing HIS lifepan to a hundred and twenty years, I did a noble thing.

I said, "Cheetah," His name is James,but for forty years folks have called him Cheetah, so I saw no need to change it

"Cheetah,I'm so glad you stopped by."Said I. " You have been a good friend for forty years and I have never had the money to buy you a Christmas gift, but this year I had a few dollars for presents so I bought you a bottle of the most expensive red wyne I could fyne.

I wanted to make sure it had not spoiled so I opened it and poured myself just a sip to make sure it was excellent quality.I hope you enjoy every drop."

I didn't see Cheetah again until after New Years, but he was still grinning.

That is the only time I have ever tasted red wyne.

I decided I should get my resveratrol from red grapes, and chocolate.

Jay

http://jayhudsononw heels.blogspot. com/

Houston,You Have Heat!

2010-05-26T19:13:00.000-07:00

Wednesday,26 May,2010

I was sent to a link today to watch an interesting interview about the publishing business.

I clicked on the link and immediately saw the call letters KHOU in Houston,TX. Numbers on the screen said it was 90 degrees and partly cloudy in Houston,or maybe it said mostly cloudy. Not sure.

Attention span is out of order.

Bo,(She's my Texican friend)I know You might see this in a couple days.

Since Texas is SO big I figured Wichita Falls must be at least one thousand miles from Houston,but since Texas is also flat,mostly, I figured you got TV from Houston anyway.

While I was waiting for the video (thank you,Joyce) to load,I looked around the screen to familiarize myself with Texan Internet pages.I saw strange buttons underneath a title about publishing,so I just kept looking at the center of the screen to see if anything was going to happen.

After waiting a few minutes(probably 30 seconds since the clock in my attention span always runs fast) I asked Camilla what was I supposed to do to watch a video on my screen.

"There will be buttons at the bottom of the photo.You push the buttons to make it go. She said hastily,as if I had interrupted something important on Faceville,I mean Farmville.

"The buttons don't have words on them.How do I know which one to push to make it go?

"Just push a button and see what happens.That' s how I learned." She grunted.

So,I looked at the buttons very carefully to see if I could detect anything that might help me. Being an ambidexterous person, but favoring my good left eye, I spied a triangular shaped button lying on it's side with one of the peaks pointing to the right,so I clicked on it.

After a couple of seconds something like one of those hypnotic spinning wheels that were popular in the 50's started turning,and shortly two women appeared at a table.I could see their lips moving,but they weren't saying anything. My first thought was that they were miming,but then I figured this was an interview so there had to be a sound button somewhere.

I didn't see a go button for sound so I meekly said,"Honey, where is the sound button?

"Right beside the time on the taskbar." Said she with more agitation in her voice.

I found it right where she said it was.

Yeehaw! I clicked on the sound button,saw a sliding button,moved it up to the top and waited excitedly.

Nothing! Nothing happened at all.

"Camilla,it' s still not working.Would you please get up from Farmville and see what's wrong over here. The interview must be almost over and I can't read lips."

With considerable groaning she got out of her chair and waddled over to my recliner,looked over my computer set-up for a half-second.

Then said," You don't even HAVE speakers on your computer."

The interview ended there. All I know is that it was hot today in Houston.

©-2010-Jay Hudson

Andy Hillenberg and Rockingham Speedway

2010-05-17T23:03:00.000-07:00

Andy Hillenberg
Rockingham Speedway
Rockingham,NC 28379

17 May,2010

Andy,
I would love to see you succeed with Rockingham Speedway and I'm willing to do anything I can to help make it happen.
I tried unsuccessfully this past two weeks to get in touch with you by email,phone calls,and even the editor at the Richmond County Daily Journal.

I am not some crackpot. I am the step-grandfather of Bobby Dale Earnhardt, who also happens to be the grandson of the late Dale Earnhardt,Sr.

Bobby Dale has taken a serious interest in racing. He wants to do it without his famous family's help if possible.
As I stated in my letter to the editor of the RC Journal it would have been a golden opportunity for you to receive thousands of dollars in free publicity if you had arranged a photo op for Bobby Dale with Bill and Chase Elliott this past weekend at Rockingham.

I'm positive that a few thousand more people would have been in the stands after seeing Bobby's photo along with Bill and Chase Elliott.

Also, I want to remind you that Rockingham is still a super speedway. It is one of the tracks that firmly established NASCAR as a sport to be reckoned with on a national basis.
And then NASCAR shoots themselves in the foot by abandoning a large part of it's birthplace.

You really have a golden opportunity to succeed in a big way with Rockingham.

But,I think you are missing out on another opportunity to increase the prestige,and profitability of the track by not including Super Speedway in the name.
Rockingham Speedway is so bland. It does not conjure up visual images of speed and excitement.

Rockingham Super Speedway is a natural. It identifies the track as being on a par with NASCAR tracks as far as facilities,and the quality of racing.

I hope you will at least take a moment to read this letter.

Sincerely,

Jay Hudson

Sports-OP-Bobby Dale Earnhardt

2010-05-12T19:01:00.000-07:00

Hi Peter,

I tried to contact the sports department at the Richmond County Daily Journal,but my emails bounced back.

My name is Jay Hudson.I'm the heart patient Cameron did the story on a few weeks ago..

I am also one of Bobby Dale Earnhardt's grandfathers. Bobby is also the grandson of the late Dale Earnhardt,Sr.

As you know he has been racing a few weeks at the Ellerbe Lions Track.Bobby has suddenly taken an interest in racing.

He has limited experience in high-speed stock car racing in Virginia,but needs to take Andy's fast-track driving school at Rockingham to move up to ARCA or Nascar..

Bobby Dale is quickly becoming a celebrity in the Richmond County area.

Since Bill and Chase Elliott are here for this weekend's races it would be a great opportunity for Andy to get more publicity for the speedway if Bobby Dale could be photographed with Bill and Casey Elliott..

Bill Elliott got his first NASCAR victory at Rockingham,and he and Dale Sr. put on some great shows racing each other at the Rock.

I think any potential photo op you do has a very good chance of being picked up by AP or TV networks and broadcast nationally because of the tie-in with the NASCAR Hall of Fame opening yesterday in Charlotte.

Also,any publicity could only be beneficial to the Rockingham Speedway,Bobby Dale,the Rockingham area in general,and it would be a great clip to add to your portfolio.

The Rockingham Speedway web site has no contact info link for Andy , or other management.. I don't have any contact info for Andy either,so I would appreciate it if you could pass this on to him,or to the sports editor.

Cameron is already familiar with me because I am the personhshe did the story on a couple weeks ago.

I can be reached at XXX-XXX-XXXX

or e-mail at

jayswritersworld1@yahoo.com

Sincerely,

Jay Hudson

B.J. Thomas

2010-05-09T23:34:00.000-07:00

Jay HudsonB.j. Thomas : B.J., I have always loved your range. For many years I wondered why you let your caerer flounder, now I understand it was putting family first. I admire you for that. Because of your musical range I think you would make smash hits of two songs in particular, Are You Lonesome Tonight, Elvis' great hit, and Buddy Holly's True Love Ways. I feel certain you have the range,and the distinctive voice to pull off a musical coup. If you ever come to the Myrtle Beach area bring your guitar,and give me a buzz. Would love to jam with you.

Sincerely,

Jay Hudson

Montgomerys

2010-05-03T20:07:00.000-07:00

1. What would a group called Rescue Ink do? I don't know. The only group I know of is the group of ladies that gathers around the old well and gossips after church every Sunday. Mama and Grandma is talking all week about what they heard in the church yard last Sunday and avowing they will never be gossips themselves, But every Sunday they are right in the thick of it.

2. Your great-great- great grandchild is researching her past--what one thing about you is going to catch her interest?

I 'spect if it's a HE then he will be trying to write about me and the other Montgomerys and why we did the things we did,he being our own kin and all.

3. How many books do you own? Have you read most of them? I don't own no books,but I read Pa's books. Last book he got was just last week when he got a copy of Charles Darwin's book about the trip around the world on a ship called the Beagle. I didn't know ships could be named after dogs,but times are changing I guess. Pa brought it home whenst he returned from New Orleans.Had one them new Dix notes too.He says people in New Orleans is using 'em for real money.I don't see how they could be real being paper and all.

4. You are alone, walking down the street in an unknown city and a raggedy looking man with very strong odor steps out of the shadows and asks for help. He's holding something in a blanket in his arms, but you can't see what its is. What do you do? Oh,that would be somebody like John Elton trying to fool somebody into giving him a gallon of 'shine. I would tell old John to go home.Grandpa makes the best 'shine in these parts.

5. How many pens are within your reach at this very moment? Two, I think. We keep the chickens in one and the pigs in the other. The mules and horses are in the pasture with the cow.

Oh,did you mean like a writing pencil? I still have a stubby one left from my schooling. Keep it by my tick-stand.

6. You get a vacation to a tropical island or mountain cabin. The vacation is for six months, but you are not allowed to take any people with you. Would you accept it--and which would you prefer? Hahaahaha! I climb up and down the mountain everyday. Still, I wouldn't want to be stuck on no abandoned island. I li! ke havin g folks around.

7. Think of the titles of your three favorite songs. Now, taking one word from each title, make up a title of a new song. What genre would it be?

Hmmmm, there is a new one just published last year called Lorena. We all love it.Everybody for miles around hums it while doing chores. My little brother Grady plays it first and last thing at the hoe-down every Saturday night.Folks love to hear him play his guitar and sing them love songs. All the gals is in love with Grady.Me and him both has blue eyes and black hair,but he can sing. Boy can he sing. And when he does his blue eyes mist over like there is a deep fog rolling in and the girls just go crazy over him.

I hope someday to find a girl who feels thataway about me.But, I ain't a bit jealous of Grady.If the need should arise I would die for him.

8. You can have your favorite meal tonight, what is on the table? Don't know! We eat pork,potatoes, and corn on the even numbered days,and on the odd days we eat potatoes,corn, and pork. Sometimes Pa will tell me to dress a lazy old rooster for Sunday dinner.Don't dare dress a hen until they quit laying.

9. What genre of writing would you like to try but never have? Why haven't you? I don't reckon the good Lord ever intended for me to be a storyteller since he made me so stubborn and mule-headed. 'Bout all I can do well is shoot straight and often, and I have picked up a few cussing words from my cousin, Stanley.One of these days I'm gonna make a Flat-Stanley outta him.

10. This one is especially for Miss Callie, but we all can answer....What do you want to be when you grow up?

That's the name Grandpa wanted for one of his granddaughters. Don't know if he will get her or not,but time will tell I suppose.

Would be something IF I was to get married,and if I had a son,and he had a daughter named Callie,and she turned out to be the Great Aunt Callie of my descendant who was reading the poem, Dear Ancestor.You know, the one about your heartbeat not being entirely your own,but a part of all your ancestors before you.

©-2010-Jay Hudson

A hero's passing!

2010-04-17T17:12:00.000-07:00

Subject: Courage

You're a 19 year old kid.
You're critically wounded and dying in the jungle somewhere in the Central Highlands of Viet Nam .

It's November 11, 1967.
LZ (landing zone) X-ray.

Your unit is outnumbered 8-1 and the enemy fire is so intense, from 100 yards away, that your CO (commanding officer) has ordered the MediVac helicopters to stop coming in.

You're lying there, listening to the enemy machine guns and you know you're not getting out.
Your family is half way around the world, 12,000 miles away, and you'll never see them again.

As the world starts to fade in and out, you know this is the day.

Then - over the machine gun noise - you faintly hear that sound of a helicopter.
You look up to see a Huey coming in. But ... It doesn't seem real because no Medi-Vac markings are on it.

Captain Ed Freeman is coming in for you.

He's not Medi-Vac so it's not his job, but he heard the radio call and decided he's flying his Huey down into the machine gun fire anyway.

Even after the Medi-Vacs were ordered not to come.
He's coming anyway.

And he drops it in and sits there in the machine gun fire, as they load 3 of you at a time on board.
Then he flies you up and out through the gunfire to the doctors and nurses and safety.

And, he kept coming back!! 13 more times!! Until all the wounded were out. No one knew until the mission was over that the Captain had been hit 4 times in the legs and left arm.

He took 29 of you and your buddies out that day. Some would not have made it without the Captain and his Huey.

Medal of Honor Recipient, Captain Ed Freeman, United States Air Force, died last Wednesday at the age of 70, in Boise , Idaho .

May God Rest His Soul.

I bet you didn't hear about this hero's passing, but we've sure seen a whole bunch aboutMichael Jackson and Tiger Woods.

Medal of Honor Winner
Captain Ed Freeman

Shame on the American media !!!

Now ... YOU pass this along on YOUR mailing list.

Please.

2010-03-15T22:34:00.000-07:00

Here Comes The Ice Cream Man

Ambling Along

by Jay Hudson

It happens in towns all across America on the day after school is out. That cussed ice cream man. He is probably the most often cussed merchant in America.

I hated the sound of his caliope music and jingling bells. He would come by at ten o'clock in the morning, and again at 4:00 P.M. in the afternoon. He would have his racket blasting for several blocks before he got to our street.

When he got to our street, he stopped right in front of our house, even though there were many kids living on that street. I think he was punishing me because he knew I hated him.

By the time he got to our house, the kids were in a frenzy. They were jumping up and down, pleading with hands up in the form of a prayer. It didn't matter to them that daddy didn't get paid until Thursday evening. Dad was supposed to have money available all the time for emergencies like the ice cream man. A cool treat is an emergency on a summer day.

I can't tell you the things I felt like doing to that man. Yes I will. I thought about the shotgun, but it was against the law to fire a gun in town. I could have tied thirteen knots in a rope and made a decoration in the old oak tree in our backyard. Nah, the dogs would never stop howling if I did that. But I wanted to do it.

I felt like ripping his radio to pieces, tying him up inside his truck, and turning all the kids loose on him for a few hours. Imagine how he would feel with a dozen kids screaming in his ears, " We want ice cream, we want ice cream, we want ice cream."

The kids could have the ice cream. I would drink all the sno-cones, every last one of them. Grape is my favorite, so I would start with that. Maybe an Arctic Orange. When my lips turned blue, then I would switch to orange. I would drink up all his profits.

When I was a kid, the ice cream man drove a school bus that had been painted white. I didn't hate the ice cream man then. He was a nice fellow named Mr. Townsend. Daddy only allowed me to go on the bus once for ice cream. I think that was the only nickel daddy ever had, and he gave it to me.

I just realized a few days ago, why the ice cream man is so popular with kids. It's not the ice cream. They can get that at the neighborhood convenience store. It's the act of meeting the ice cream truck with all the music and noise.

It's simply an entertainment event.

©-2005- Jay Hudson-

Teaching Horses to Fly!

2010-03-10T11:15:00.000-08:00

Uncle John's grandpap,also named John,and John's younger brother.Colt, were sharpshooters during the War of Northern Agression.

Attached to the Confederate army of General Braxton Bragg,they were in frequent contact with Union forces of Gen. Billy Sherman.In fact, they were a mighty sore spot for Sherman's Army. From Chat'Nooga all the way to the outskirts of "Lanta,they were lighting up Sherman's best sharpshooters until Sherman was nigh on to having a nervous breakdown.

Finally,Capt. Kilpatrick's Union calvary cornered John and Colt whilst they were trying to ford a creek.

"You Rebs is gonna be executed shortly on acccount of the trouble you have been causing General Sherman," Said Kilpatrick. No two ways about it.Nothing can save your sorry hides now."

"John,What are we gon' do now?"Whispered Colt.

"Don't worry,Colt.Tomorrow ain't here yet."

John knew that despite his fierce looks and commanding presence,William Sherman was a vain man,maybe not a drunkard like Sym Grant,but a man just the same.
He knew that Billy Sherman loved his horse near to death,and he prided hisself on having one of the best Tennessee horses in the entire Union Army.

When Kilpatrick brought John and Colt to face the General,Sherman ordered their immediate execution.

"General Sherman, I beg your pardon, if I may speak one last request?" Implored John ,stretching out both hands in an act of genuine humbleness.
"I know you have great affection for your horse.If it please the General to spare our lives,I will teach your horse to fly.You would be the only General to having a Flying Horse since Aggamemnon so long ago.What would Lincoln and Grant think of you commanding such an animal as that?"
Teaching a horse such a feat requires time,and utmost concentration. If you spare my life one year the deed will be done,and then execute me if you will."

General Sherman aggreed to the terms immediately. He ordered John and Colt sent to the make-shift stockade in the rear until the training could begin.

"John,you know danged well horses can't fly. What are we gon' do when Gen'l Sherman realizes you are a liar?"Said Colt.

"Needless worry is not a Montgomery trait ,Colt.I'm surprised at your lack of faith in me.One of four things may happen before the year is up."

"One;Gen'l Sherman may die and we steal our FREEDOM.
Two;I may die and thus be free.
Three;Lincoln might surrender and the WAR end before the year is up.
Four;I might teach the sorrel to fly !"

©-2010-Jay Hudson

America gets water!

2010-01-31T16:47:00.000-08:00

I propose that our government spend billions of dollars building canals all across America.

Then, when one area is flooding, the water could be diverted to the dry areas, and when one area gets too much snow it could be piled up near the canals to melt later, and thus be transported where needed.

This mass movement of water would allow everyone to have the water when they need it.

And, it would put millions of people to work. this would give our economy a shot like the transcontinental railroad did in the 1800's.

Okay, maybe it's a crazy idea, but...

Water would only have to be pumped to the continental divides, and then diverted to areas of need.

©-Jay Hudson

Who Do You trust?

2010-01-23T18:33:00.000-08:00

Who Do You Trust?

According to Uncle John’s mama, there were treacherous gulches, deep ravines, and maybe even bottomless canyons in the Pee Dee River Hills where the family church was located.

Every Sunday on the way to church his mama repeated her warning,”Johnny, don’t you leave the church yard.You hear me? If you get out of the church yard you might fall in one of those deep gulches,treacherous ravines, or maybe even that bottomless canyon that grandpa says is out there among the hills.You remember what I told you a long time ago? It was the time Grandpa Shepard said he saw the devil come up out of the river whilst he was out in his boat fishing and drinking,and it being a Sunday. Don’t you never forget I told you either. I know how cocky and inquisitive you are, but you had better listen to me before it’s too late.”

"Them hills are slippery on account of holding heat, and cool air hitting them causes moisture to develop on them. Why, just a couple days ago I heerd of a man falling off the Grand Canyon.The idiot didn’t realize them rocks sloping downward towards the canyons edge sweated, and a careless person would go too far.”

“Johnny, are you listening to me?”

“Yes Mama! I’m a listening and I won’t go too far from the church.”

As soon as the car stopped Johnny was out the door running to play with his friends, mostly his cousins, and aunts and uncles near his own age.

Both sets of his grandparents practiced the Biblical admonition to procreate and populate the Earth.

Many years later Uncle John was a grown man and he decided to go up in the hills at the church and see for himself. He hadn’t wasted all those Sunday, and Wednesday services.

His imagination took him on many flights of fancy while the preacher was drumming away at his sermon.

So, one Sunday, after everyone had left the church, he trekked out into the woods to see for himself.

Sure enough, he found a deep ravine that he had played in a few times in his youth. He never had a problem then, so he decided to venture farther along an animal trail he found.

Suddenly, his feet slipped on a damp spot of clay and he found himself tumbling down-ward at an increasing speed. He could grab nothing to slow his descent until suddenly he pitched over a hidden cliff. As he was tumbling through the air he was able to grab a small spruce pine tree. That stopped his fall for the moment, but he could see the trunk of the little tree creating cracks in the clay as it began to loosen it’s hold in the Earth.

Uncle John was overcome with sudden panic and he hollered as loud as he could,”Help me! Somebody help me. Is anybody up there?”

A very deep voice, much like Sam Elliot’s voice in the Smokey the Bear commercials said,”John, this is God! Listen to me, my Son. Let go of the little tree. You are killing it.”

John was so overcome with fear by now that he could only murmur weakly,”Is anybody else up there?”

©-2010-Jay Hudson

http://jayhudsononwheels.blogspot.com/

Who Do You trust?

2010-01-21T21:13:00.000-08:00