Here Comes The Ice Cream Man

Ambling Along

by Jay Hudson

It happens in towns all across America on the day after school is out. That cussed ice cream man. He is probably the most often cussed merchant in America.

I hated the sound of his caliope music and jingling bells. He would come by at ten o'clock in the morning, and again at 4:00 P.M. in the afternoon. He would have his racket blasting for several blocks before he got to our street.

When he got to our street, he stopped right in front of our house, even though there were many kids living on that street. I think he was punishing me because he knew I hated him.

By the time he got to our house, the kids were in a frenzy. They were jumping up and down, pleading with hands up in the form of a prayer. It didn't matter to them that daddy didn't get paid until Thursday evening. Dad was supposed to have money available all the time for emergencies like the ice cream man. A cool treat is an emergency on a summer day.

I can't tell you the things I felt like doing to that man. Yes I will. I thought about the shotgun, but it was against the law to fire a gun in town. I could have tied thirteen knots in a rope and made a decoration in the old oak tree in our backyard. Nah, the dogs would never stop howling if I did that. But I wanted to do it.

I felt like ripping his radio to pieces, tying him up inside his truck, and turning all the kids loose on him for a few hours. Imagine how he would feel with a dozen kids screaming in his ears, " We want ice cream, we want ice cream, we want ice cream."

The kids could have the ice cream. I would drink all the sno-cones, every last one of them. Grape is my favorite, so I would start with that. Maybe an Arctic Orange. When my lips turned blue, then I would switch to orange. I would drink up all his profits.

When I was a kid, the ice cream man drove a school bus that had been painted white. I didn't hate the ice cream man then. He was a nice fellow named Mr. Townsend. Daddy only allowed me to go on the bus once for ice cream. I think that was the only nickel daddy ever had, and he gave it to me.

I just realized a few days ago, why the ice cream man is so popular with kids. It's not the ice cream. They can get that at the neighborhood convenience store. It's the act of meeting the ice cream truck with all the music and noise.

It's simply an entertainment event.

©-2005- Jay Hudson-

Teaching Horses to Fly!

Uncle John's grandpap,also named John,and John's younger brother.Colt, were sharpshooters during the War of Northern Agression.

Attached to the Confederate army of General Braxton Bragg,they were in frequent contact with Union forces of Gen. Billy Sherman.In fact, they were a mighty sore spot for Sherman's Army. From Chat'Nooga all the way to the outskirts of "Lanta,they were lighting up Sherman's best sharpshooters until Sherman was nigh on to having a nervous breakdown.

Finally,Capt. Kilpatrick's Union calvary cornered John and Colt whilst they were trying to ford a creek.

"You Rebs is gonna be executed shortly on acccount of the trouble you have been causing General Sherman," Said Kilpatrick. No two ways about it.Nothing can save your sorry hides now."

"John,What are we gon' do now?"Whispered Colt.

"Don't worry,Colt.Tomorrow ain't here yet."

John knew that despite his fierce looks and commanding presence,William Sherman was a vain man,maybe not a drunkard like Sym Grant,but a man just the same.
He knew that Billy Sherman loved his horse near to death,and he prided hisself on having one of the best Tennessee horses in the entire Union Army.

When Kilpatrick brought John and Colt to face the General,Sherman ordered their immediate execution.

"General Sherman, I beg your pardon, if I may speak one last request?" Implored John ,stretching out both hands in an act of genuine humbleness.
"I know you have great affection for your horse.If it please the General to spare our lives,I will teach your horse to fly.You would be the only General to having a Flying Horse since Aggamemnon so long ago.What would Lincoln and Grant think of you commanding such an animal as that?"
Teaching a horse such a feat requires time,and utmost concentration. If you spare my life one year the deed will be done,and then execute me if you will."

General Sherman aggreed to the terms immediately. He ordered John and Colt sent to the make-shift stockade in the rear until the training could begin.

"John,you know danged well horses can't fly. What are we gon' do when Gen'l Sherman realizes you are a liar?"Said Colt.

"Needless worry is not a Montgomery trait ,Colt.I'm surprised at your lack of faith in me.One of four things may happen before the year is up."

"One;Gen'l Sherman may die and we steal our FREEDOM.
Two;I may die and thus be free.
Three;Lincoln might surrender and the WAR end before the year is up.
Four;I might teach the sorrel to fly !"

©-2010-Jay Hudson