Uncle John Tussles With an Angel

Uncle John was always tussling with his covetous, Cousin Walter. If John got a newer model used car, then Cousin Walter had to have one with more shine.

Uncle John and Cousin Walter fussed over everything under heaven. Two more cantankerous people had never been born in the South. Their verbal abuse got so bad folks couldn't get any peace anywhere in the entire county unless maybe in their own homes.

Everytime there was a ballgame, a wedding, a funeral, a party, an election, or any public event, John and Walter disrupted everything with their loud and ferocious swearing at each other. It got so bad that folks were moving out of Richmond County in droves.

Finally one of the elected officials who actually professed to being "a strong Christian Baptist," called the leaders of every church in the county and requested a special prayer breakfast, much like the ones that Jesse Jackson and William Clinton are allegedly so fond of.

She told these community leaders that they had to pray that something might be done to curb Uncle John and Cousin Walter's bickering. She pointed out to them that God had just blessed Georgia with rain after a public official violated the spirit of the Constitution by actually praying for rain, and it might work with the local problems.

So, a time for the prayer breakfast was set. The good folks met on Friday morning at 7:00 A.M. They commenced praying loudly, begging God for mercy so they could have peace in the area. They spent several minutes of verbally beseeching God's help in solving their problem, and then thanking him for intervening, they procceeded to have breakfast, having been spiritually assured that God would intervene.

Uncle John seldom attended church anymore, but he always turned the TV on to listen to the tv preachers while he snoozed in his recliner.

Uncle John was all laid-back in his favorite recliner on Sunday morning just about preaching time. He was snoozing comfortably while the sounds of that Mega-Church-in-Texas preacher's voice was exhorting everyone to praise God from the 12" color tv in the living room.

Suddenly Uncle John had a powerful vision of an Angelic being hovering in the air over him while he snoozed.

"John, you are without a doubt the meanest, swearingest man I have ever had to watch over. God has commanded me to come down here to set your heart free from your wicked ways. He said I may grant your hearts desires if you show you have goodness in your heart by letting Cousin Walter have two of the same things you desire," Said the Angel."

"You mean, if I ask you for a million dollars, that filthy lying scoundrel gets two million?"

"He sure will! That's my Lords command."

"And if I'm the boss of a big factory some place, he gets to be boss of two of them?" Asked Uncle John.

" Yes, as my Lord has commanded," Replied the Angel.

"And if I live with the meanest, ugliest Witch of the West, he gets two of them?"

" Yes, as God has commanded me." Said the Angel.

Uncle John frowned a little as he was pondering the Angel's answers. Suddenly his eyes sparkled and a big grin came over his face as he spoke, " Well, if you'll give me all the above and one glass eye, we got a deal."

©-2007-Jay Hudson-All rights reserved.